Christmas Crush
by InazumaOokami
Summary: If there was any person Kakuzu hated more than Hidan, it would have to be Akatsuki's newbie member. Now, what is this Christmas crap she keeps spouting about, he wonders? Kakuzu/namelessgirlofyourchoosing


Author's Note: Hey, people. A little early for Christmas, but oh well. Just reposting an old work from my Quizilla to here. I guess a WARNING would be appropriate, just in case you may reading to the end of the story and then saying it was a waste of your time? Haha. Anyway, this girly OC can be any random-ask lady ninja you want, most preferably one with a happy-go-lucky attitude, to fit the character in this short story herself. I apologize if the characters seem slightly (maybe more) OOC, but despite that, have a happy reading! (:

**Christmas Crush**

Ever since the beginning of December, Kakuzu had been feeling more and more aggravated than usual and surprisingly, it was not because of Hidan. Why, no, no... In fact, it was because of a girl.

...a girl who seemed to be made of sugar, spice, everything nice and was chock-full of smiles and generosity.

It annoyed him to no end! ...especially how she spent so much money just to buy pointless little gifts for everyone of the Akatsuki. If she wanted to give him something, she could have just given him maybe some -- strike that -- _all _of her savings, but no. She just had to spend it on all sorts of sweets and trinkets she felt everyone would enjoy.

At times, he wondered how she had even made it into the Akatsuki.

"Kakazu-saaan!"

From where he sat on his bed, Kakuzu crumpled the paper money he held in his hand, jerking his head toward the door to see the petite teenager standing under his doorway, grinning from ear to ear.

He would have killed her right then, but, for some reason, Deidara, Tobi, and Hidan always objected to it. Deidara and Tobi objecting -- understandable, but _Hidan_? He just couldn't understand why. Maybe that tagalong of his noticed how much she annoyed him without even trying?

Yeah, that was probably it.

"What?" he growled, glaring at her.

She stared at him for a moment before realizing she had interrupted him from counting the Akatsuki's income. Smiling sheepishly, she gave him a small bow. "I'm sorry, Kakuzu-san! Err, but I just wanted to ask you a question, if it's all right with you."

"No."

"Okay, so what's your favorite color?"

He gave her another glare, scowling beneath the cloth that covered the lower half of his face. "I said--"

"It'll be real quick, I promise," she interjected, lacing her fingers under her chin as if she were pleading with him. "I just need to know your favorite color -- that's all."

His eyes spitefully bore into hers, hoping to break her down with his death glare. Unfortunately, it did no good, for she only continued gazing at him, waiting as patiently as ever. Glowering at her, he gruffly answered, "I don't have one."

Her eyes widened slightly before she gasped, "You don't have a favorite color?"

"No," he snapped, growing more annoyed by the second. "I hate all of them."

"But you must like at least one color, right? Hmm..." She put a hand up to her chin in deep thought, racking her brain for any sort of idea. "Oh, I know!" she chirped, proudly clapping her fist into her palm. "What's the color you dislike the least?"

"I hate them all equally. Now leave."

"I guess I'll just use my favorite color, then," she sighed disappointedly, shaking her head. "Hope you don't mind, Kakazu-san." In a blink of an eye, her mood changed and she wore a chipper grin once more. "Have a merry Christmas eve!" With that, she glided out of the room and down the hallway, barely and unknowingly dodging one of Kakuzu's whip-like threads.

Kakuzu clenched his fist, scowling bitterly. "Missed," he grumbled, looking back to his suitcase full of money. He stared at it for a moment before swearing under his breath. "Damn it... She made me lose count... again."

* * *

He had been walking down the hallway and toward the kitchen when hearing her voice coming from Tobi's room. Out of curiosity, he stopped beside the open door and listened.

"Tobi's favorite color is orange!" he heard the masked member exclaim, peeking inside in time to see him jumping up and down in excitement. "See, see? Just like Tobi's mask!"

He grimaced when hearing her optimistic voice for the umpteenth time. "Of course, of course!" she laughed, clapping her hands together. "Orange for Tobi-kun! I'll definitely remember that. Thank you, Tobi!"

"No problem!"

Kakuzu watched as she dashed out the door, not seeming to have noticed him. "She would definitely die if she were sent out on a mission," he muttered, morbid thoughts entering his mind as he imagined her being ambushed by a bunch of the ANBU.

"Oh, Kakuzu-san!" Tobi poked his head out the door, catching sight of the him. "What are you doing here? Outside Tobi's door? At this very second?"

He stared, rather irritated by the fact that his gruesomely pleasured thoughts were suddenly interrupted, but he was standing right outside Tobi's room.

"I was eavesdropping," he said bluntly. "Now tell me, why the hell is she asking for everyone's favorite colors?"

Though Tobi wore a mask that hid his whole face, Kakuzu could already tell that he was grinning slyly. "Oh, Kakuzu-san! Are you really curious as to why she's asking everyone that? Well..." He overdramatically folded his arms over his chest, looking rather touched. "She's planning to give everyone a present for Christmas Day and she wants everyone's present to have their favorite color!"

"Hasn't she already given us stuff for this... _Christmas_?" He said the last word as if it were venom. Never could he understand why people just had to give other people store-bought gifts. It was annoying.

"But those were only _little _presents, Kakuzu-san!" Tobi exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Tomorrow on Christmas Day, she wants to give everyone a special present. Isn't she nice?"

"More like annoying."

"Aww, Kakuzu-san! You don't have to be so mean!"

Said man ignored him as he continued making his way down the hall and toward the kitchen. He swore under his breath when hearing Tobi catch up to him from behind.

"Oh, Kakuzu-san, Kakuzu-san! Don't you want to know what her favorite color is?"

"Why the hell would I want to know?"

"Oh, come on! Guess, guess!"

"...no."

"It's really eas--"

"If you want to tell me so badly, then would you just spit it out already?"

Tobi smugly placed folded his hands over his chest as he answered, "Green."

Kakuzu stopped in his tracks and stared, his face blank. "And... why did you want to tell me this?"

Giving Kakuzu a thumb's up, Tobi gushed, "It reminds her of your eyes!" With that out of his system, he pranced toward the kitchen, leaving a bewildered Kakuzu behind.

* * *

As he was passing by her open door, he saw it. Sitting in the corner of the tidied room was a small Christmas tree decorated with colorful ornaments and ribbons of reds, greens, and yellows and fake, cotton snow scattered at the base. At the top of the tree sat a golden star that was bright enough to shine through the whole room.

He stood there for a moment, staring at it, and he wondered why on earth she would even keep such a thing in here when she was going to have to throw it out, anyway. His eyes scanned over the rest of the room and he saw how plain it was, save for the plush animal toys and the tree. She seemed to be a typical, teenage girl...

Save for the fact that she was part of an evil organization full of S-Class nin.

Other than that, she seemed pretty normal.

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at the plush toys sitting on her bed, watching him with unblinking eyes. Honestly, he wondered, why do girls even like things like those?

Then his gaze fell over the surface of her desk where a small picture frame sat, the figure within it watching him with glowing, green eyes...

It took him a moment to realize it was himself.

"Damn it," he grumbled, looking rather irked. "I have a stalker."

With an irritated sigh, he turned on his heel and made his way back to his room, but instantly stopped when Tobi's words echoed through his head.

_"It reminds her of your eyes!"_

He mentally sliced and diced the imagined Tobi in his head before going back to her room. Using a thread, he swiped one of the green ribbons decorating the tree and then ran back to his room, cursing at himself for even going back.

* * *

In the morning of the next day, Kakuzu could hear her racing back and forth, probably hurrying to give everyone their presents. He was growing more and more annoyed with each time she merely ran past his room, not even slowing her pace down.

Maybe she had not gotten him a gift? Well, he hadn't told her what his favorite color was, but it was easier than lying to her. Besides...

It wasn't like he _wanted _some pointless little gift that was probably bought with ten measly bucks... that could have gone into his bank account instead.

The door to his room was suddenly swung open and she stood beneath his doorway, panting and holding a box wrapped in green paper under her arm.

"Kakuzu-san!" she exclaimed, her eyes apologetic. "I'm sorry I took so long! I still had to get yours ready and--"

She was suddenly cut off when Kakuzu appeared before her, an enraged look in his eyes. He grabbed the box from under her arm and threw it onto his bed, making her blanche.

He towered over her, glaring into her wide eyes. "Do you know how long you had me waiting?" he growled dangerously, making her flinch. "I've been holding on to this damn thing for too long and all I wanted was to get it out!"

She stared, her eyes now full of confusion rather than fear. "Err, what are you--"

He shoved something into her arms, which she automatically grabbed so it would not fall to the floor. As he stood there, she stared at the object in surprise. It was a small, plush tiger with white fur and black stripes. Tied around its neck was a shiny green ribbon, that seemed oddly familiar to her. The feature that caught her attention the most though were the bright green marble eyes that stared back up at her.

Kakuzu watched as she only stood there, holding the plush tiger an arms length away from her and gazing at it with extreme adoration. She lifted her gaze from the tiger's green eyes to Kakuzu's, the expression in her eyes not even changing.

Kakuzu had to control himself from flinching from such a look. "So, what?" he snapped, growing impatient. "Can't you go now?"

"Kakuzu-san..." she squeaked, her eyes watering. "This is very thoughtful of you... It's so adorable... You actually bought something for m--"

"Like hell I'd spend money on you."

The smile she wore faltered, but instantly brightened once again. "Kakuzu-san, you're so kind, going so far as to steal--"

"Why would waste my time trying to steal something for you?"

Her face was blank as her options were lowering. "So, how did you...?"

"I made it."

She blinked. "You... made it?"

"Yes, I made it!" he snapped, looking rather embarrassed and annoyed at the same time. "Just last night... Do you know how much time I wasted on that thing?"

She stared at him in surprise before a toothy grin appeared on her features. "I really love it, Kakuzu-san! Thank you! But... Green..." She gave him a questioning look. "How did you know...?"

"Tobi told me," he said bluntly, keeping on a straight face.

He could already tell she was making a mental note of this and was probably thinking to thank Tobi later. She looked up at him, admiration in her eyes.

"Thank you very much, Kakuzu-san," she sang, grinning widely as she clutched the plush animal to her chest. "I hope you like your..."

A movement from above them caught their attentions and they slowly raised their heads to see Zetsu emerging from the ceiling, holding a mistletoe over them.

"Z-Zetsu!" Kakuzu shouted, his face tinted with a light shade of red when realizing he had been caught in giving this girl a gift. "What the hell are you doing in my room?! And what the heck are you holding?!"

"It's a mistletoe," he said simply, a sly grin on his features.

Kakuzu continued glaring, racking his brain to remember what the heck a mistletoe was for. Before he could even demand an answer, Zetsu spoke once more.

_"When two people are standing beneath it, they have to kiss,"_ his darker side explained, sounding rather impatient. _"Dumbass. You've lived for how long and you don't even know this?"_

"Shut the hell u--"

He stopped when realizing the girl before him and stood on the tips of her toes and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. She took a step back, looking rather sheepish as she hugged the plush toy tighter.

"Ah, I guess you can go onto Leader and Konan now, Zetsu-kun," she squeaked, her voice a lot quieter than usual. "Merry Christmas."

Grinning victoriously as if his work was done, he disappeared back into the ceiling, bringing the mistletoe with him.

Kakuzu gawked at her, not believing she actually had the guts to do such a thing. A long while of silence passed between them until his stomach growled.

"...I'm hungry."

"Oh, err... Well..." Her gaze fell onto the bed where her wrapped-up box sat, some sort of white ooze dripping out of the corners. "I made you a cake that looked like a one hundred dollar bill, but when you threw it, the box sort of hit the wall so the cake is probably..."

"Just make me another one," he shrugged, brushing past her and heading to the kitchen. "You owe me for making you that thing for you."

As much as she wanted to point out that one feels a lot nicer when giving rather than receiving, she only smiled gratefully and caught up with him. "Okay! This time, I'll add more icing colors, like red, yellow, white--"

"Green is just fine."

And her smile widened, hugging the green-eyed plush tiger even more, making Kakuzu smirk beneath his mask.


End file.
